The Food Guy

Food Guy Comeback?

2011-06-15T13:26:00.002-05:00

There is a rumor The Food Guy is making a comeback. Look for an announcement soon at a restaurant near you.

Jimmy John's and KISS, a solid combination

2010-06-10T11:33:00.003-05:00

I was hungry this morning so I went to Jimmy John's for lunch.

I've written about JJ's before and will probably do so again. I like their subs, but I just don't like the fact that you walk in and suddenly 6 people are like "dude, what's up?" "How's it going dude?" Everyone says hi - and dude - no matter where they are in the store. Today, I think I heard the manager yell "hey, dude, what's up?" while in the bathroom, mid dump.

Then the next thing that bugs me about JJ's is how when you order, they always upsell. Want peppers with that? Want cheese with that? Well, how come you are only asking me about the items you charge extra for?

Then, the workers don't really listen. Three recent times at this JJ's they made mistakes. I ordered the turkey tom for Food Gal the other day and before I got the "no mayo" out they had already put mayo on it. I ordered the roast beef with onions - and they forgot the onions. Then the other time, a turkey tom, I asked for no sprouts, and they added sprouts. Maybe if I sent a text message to the 15-year-old guy or girl making the sub they would get it right.

I don't care how fast you make the sub, or how speedy it is, I just want it done right. Also, I love loud music, the louder the better - except when I am ordering a sub. Why is the music so loud at Jimmy John's? Where in the business model did they think "really loud music, so loud that no one can hear anything is a positive?"

Today, however, I was pleased with the music. As I was ordering my vito (Italian sub), chips (jalapeno) and diet coke, the song "I Was Made For Loving You" by KISS was on the speakers. I hadn't heard that song in some time and was reminded of what a solid, steady song that was. I was singing the song in my head when I realized the song was actually a subliminal message from my sub. The song, I Was Made for Lovin You, was not really about KISS. It was a greeting from my sub about our experience we were about to emabrk on. Therefore, I suddenly was singing these lyrics and thinking about my sub:

I was made for eating you baby
You were made for me eatin you baby
And I can't get enough of you baby
Can you get enough or me?
I was made for eating you baby
You were made for me eating you baby

That moment made my day. Kiss and Jimmy John's. My sub wasn't the greatest today (the bread was a bit old I think and half of each bite contained lettuce and oil and no meat), but the combination of song and food made it a wonderful experience.

I immediately went home and played that video on YouTube - do the same yourself here - you know you want to: KISS - I was made for loving you

Black olives vs. Green olives

2009-03-26T11:03:00.000-05:00

I’ve been a big fan of black olives on my sub sandwiches lately. This morning I was eating a footlong roast beef sub and it was tasty with black olives. Why doesn’t Subway have green olives available?

Do you like the whole olives or the cut olives? Pimento in or pimento out?

I like black olives on my sub, but on pizza I prefer green olives. Food gal loves green olives. Her favorite pizza is sausage, onion and green olive. I am more of a sausage, onion and mushroom kind of guy but that’s another story.

So, when it comes down to it, what is better the black olive or the green olive? Do you ever combine the two, say in a cold pasta salad? Do you ever get both olives on your pizza?

And what’s up with olive oil, why is it green? How come black olive oil isn’t made? Are their racial tensions in the world of olives, discrimination against the “black” olive?

Both have their pluses and minuses – which do you prefer?

Who buys grapes with seeds in them anyways?

2009-03-26T11:01:00.001-05:00

I made the mistake of buying grapes with seeds in them the other day at the store. They were the dark purple ones, the big fat juicy ones. For some reason I thought they were seedless, but oh was I wrong.

My question is why in the hell would anyone buy grapes with seeds in them? How enjoyable is it to bite into a grape and pluck seeds out, no matter how juicy and tasty they are? In my opinion they shouldn’t even sell grapes with seeds in them. You can’t put them in salads, and they are work to eat. I ate three and tossed the remaining 8 or so I had in the bag in the garbage.

It was my fault, but why even sell them?

Share charges suck

2009-02-09T07:26:00.003-06:00

I've never done it myself - share a plate at a restaurant. You know, one couple order one meal and share it. But it happens, I suppose.

Anyway, why can some restaurants get away with charging a $3 share charge for example? If one wants to go to a restaurant and order one menu item and share it, so be it. What if one was eating by themself? It's no different if two people are eating one meal.

I really don't think it costs them $3 to bring out an extra plate and for the dishwasher to wash it, so it's a bogus charge.

The simple solution is to both order a meal. But, in some cases - with people I don't know - there may be a need to share a meal. Maybe you ate earlier and want to eat again and just want to share some food, I understand that. But it's not right for a restaurant to charge a share charge for sharing a plate. We are the customer and we decide what we eat and how we eat it.

So, EAT!

Subway Lies in its TV Commercials! FALSE ADVERTISING

2009-02-06T08:24:00.006-06:00

I can't help but get that Subway commercial stuck in my head: Five dollar, five dollar footlongs. It's catchy. I am not saying it's good, but it's catchy.

However, I've had it with Subway's misleading advertising. Next time you watch a Subway commercial, take a good close look at the Subs they show. They are piled high with meat - and they put the meat on top. COME ON! That is a blatant false advertisement! Subway never ever ever ever puts the meat on top of the vegetables when you fold the sandwich over. It's always on the bottom - and there is barely any meat to be seen.

Look here, I've ate Subway at 19 of the 50 states in the contintental U.S. and I have never ever ever had one sub that is loaded with meat on the top.

That's why it's false advertising. They show you one thing, then make another. It's the classic bait and switch. They put more meat on those subs in the commercial than they ever do on any sub - even if it's double meat.

Therefore, I am gathering a special blue ribbon, fact-finding committee (kind of like in Revenge of the Nerds when Stan Gable and Betty Childs form a committee to help the nerds in their quest for admission to the fraternity) who will help in pursuing a class-action lawsuit against Subway. The false advertising has got to stop - or else they need to start adding more meat to our subs!

They can take their five dollar, five dollar footlong and shove it....well, you can finish the rest.

EAT!

Corn Dogs: Odd or Even?

2008-12-05T12:43:00.002-06:00

I bought some corn dogs at the store the other day. The state fair kind – they are a great easy snack/meal supplement.

I was perplexed though, the same brand had one box with 6 corn dogs, and another box with 5 corn dogs. Why would they have such similar options? Why not a 6 and an 8? Or a 4, 8 or 10? I don’t think there should be any odd number packages though. Who eats just one corn dog at a time? I suppose there could be a time when you don’t want two, but want three so if you eat two, and later down the road, in a week or two, get the corn dog crave, you eat two, then you want one more, you have that extra one?

But why a 5-pack and a 6-pack?

As I was reading the heating instructions (corn dogs must be cooked in the oven, the microwave just makes it soggy), it said “heat for 16-20” minutes.

It got me thinking – are you a 16 minute heater or a 20-minute heater? Do you check at 16 minutes or do you wait the entire 20 minutes? I usually flip at about 8 minutes, and then check at 16. It’s better to be undercooked, than overcooked. But does anyone really check at the 17th, 18th or 19th minute, for example?

Why is the package odd numbers (5), but the heating instructions even (16-20)? And, do they have a team that tests them? One group does the 15-19 minute tests, the other does the 16-20 minute test? And the winner gets a dinner at a fancy restaurant while the others are voted off?

I like my corn dogs with ketchup and mustard. I like to eat them by dipping my corn dog into ketchup and mustard. I don’t like squirting the ketchup or mustard on the corn dog, there is too much potential for disaster (such as a ketchup or mustard stain on a white shirt). It’s acceptable at the state fair, but when at home, I like to dip.

That’s all – time to eat those corn dogs. Heaven on a stick.

Wanted: Something Good to Eat!

2008-11-22T12:39:00.015-06:00

Sometimes, it’s just hard to find what the heck you want to eat. I just ate a turkey sandwich but couldn’t decided if I wanted that or leftover tacos. The turkey sandwich wasn’t enough and I wanted more. I am just utterly confused at what I want to eat next. The main thing is, I don’t want to cook.

I just opened the cupboard and looked at some minestrone soup, cans of tuna and green beans. Not doing it. I then opened the freezer and was staring at some pot pies while craving hot dogs.

You see, when you look through the cupboards, fridge or the freezer when you are not sure what you want to eat – and you don’t really have anything appealing to eat - it’s like being in the desert when you are dehydrated. Your mind starts playing games on you. You start hallucinating. We all do it, we keep looking in the fridge, freezer or cupboards – the same one’s over and over – thinking there is suddenly going to be something new in there to eat. Then you realize half the stuff in there is stuff you don’t really want to eat anyway, that’s why it’s still in there.

Oh, there is plenty in the freezer I want to eat – steak, pizza rolls, chicken patties (by gosh, maybe I’ll have a chicken patty now that I think about it) but they just weren’t what I really really wanted. You know how it is, you open it up and spot it right away, kind like a woman seeing a great deal on a clearance item at the local clothing store. Oh yeah, all over it.

I pulled out some basmati rice and opened the package, then thought “do I really want to make rice at 12:24 on a Saturday?” So far, no.

I ate my turkey sandwich solo – meaning without a partner, like chips – and a diet coke. While looking through one cupboard I found some Triscuits. Of course as is the case anytime with Triscuits, the bag wasn’t shut properly in the box, therefore the Triscuits were stale. Two things: Is there anything worse than a stale Triscuit? And, does anyone actually ever shut the plastic in the box properly so Triscuits can last over time? Really, Triscuits should be a refrigerated food because they seem to spoil so fast. Or else they need better packaging because no one ever shuts the plastic properly anyway.

Anyway, today is one of those days when I don’t know what to eat. But don’t despair, I’ll still eat – just not sure what quite yet. It’s time to go back and stare into the cupboards, fridge and freezer some more to see what suddenly shows up.

Rock The Guac!

2008-11-19T15:02:00.004-06:00

I’ve been on a big Guacamole kick lately. Eating it, making it and saying it, it’s been a big part of The Food Guy’s life. It’s a simple homemade treat and easy to make.

I was pleasantly surprised when I went to the grocery store of the department store chain downtown near my work and found they had Guacamole.

There’s nothing better than doing some work and munching on some chips and guac, and there’s nothing better than taking a mid-day break to stroll through a grocery store. Ahhh…therapeutic.

The one thing you always hear about Guacamole is “it’s high in fat, but it’s the good fat.”

Really? There is good fat now? Give me a break. Yes, I know some fats are essential. But saying it’s a good fat is like those people who in 114 degree heat say, “it’s a dry heat so it’s not bad.” Whatever, 114 degrees is still mighty freakin’ hot.

If I eat the two packs of guac that come in the box I bought – guac only not including the chips – that’s a total of over 700 calories and 52 grams of fat. I mean, who really eats only a couple of bites of chips and dip and quits? Most chipper and dippers I know are all in – you eat as much as you can until satisfied. But it’s the good fat right? So I am okay? Again - give me a break.

Guacamole has become one of the many foods I’d like to see featured in an all-you-can eat eating contest. It’s a great treat, but don’t get brainwashed into thinking it’s a health food. It has lots of good nutrients, but fat is fat, good or bad. And on that note, I’m off to get the second package of guac to continue my eating adventures and add to my daily fat intake.

No doubt, now is a good time to rock the guac!

Why is Tortilla soup Tortilla soup?; Cracker Showdown – The Saltine Takes on All Comers!

2008-11-13T15:56:00.008-06:00

Eating some tortilla soup from Panera right now. It’s decent. But it got me thinking – why is it named tortilla soup? What part of a tortilla is involved in a somewhat spicy soup with chicken, black beans and corn and tomatoes and other seasoning/spices?

I guess it depends on how you view the word tortilla. To me a tortilla is the white, floury shell I use to eat tacos. Although, there are tortilla chips, which are corn-based and fried/baked to create a chip. But with this soup, what is tortilla about it? The shavings they give as an add on? It’s not enough to validate it being called tortilla soup. I mean, I put crackers on chicken noodle soup and I don’t call it cracker soup.

With chicken noodle soup it’s self-explanatory. It’s noodles, small pieces of chicken in chicken broth…hence, chicken noodle soup.

Tomato soup? Tomatoes.

Potato soup? Potatoes

Chicken Wild Rice soup? Chicken, in a thick cream base, with wild rice.

So where does Tortilla soup come in with this soup? It should be more Santa fe soup.

On another note, you ever think about why we add salty crackers to soup? Soup is like 900 times your daily intake of sodium, then we just add more sodium to our soup? But it tastes good, and it’s not the same without them. Saltines get dominated in so many ways by other crackers. No one goes to the store excited about saltines and you don’t get recipes on the back of saltines box. But with Triscuits, Wheat Thins, chicken ‘n a biscuit, even Ritz crackers or cheez-its are all are more popular. But, the question is – are saltines used more? Sure, you can make snacks out of those other crackers (for example, take some spaghetti sauce or pizza sauce, pour it on a triscuit, add some cheese and nuke it and you have a quick delicious snack)…or, how about cheese and crackers, it’s never cheese and saltines. It’s cheese and Ritz or some fancy schmancy dinner cracker. Those crackers are for people who think you can’t drink domestic beer anymore. There’s two groups – those who have a party with some ritz, triscuits, wheat thins and Coors Light, Mich Light or Bud Light, and those who have the fancy crackers, fancy cheese, wine and a combination of Heineken, Amstel Light, or some other import or microbrew (anyway that’s an entirely different topic).

Saltines are like the fish everyone catches but no one wants to eat unless they have to. It’s like say, the perch. People would much rather catch the walleye or crappie or sunfish, but in reality, the perch is good eating. People would rather buy the triscuit and wheat thin or Ritz, but the Saltine can hold it’s own. With people eating so much soup – even tortilla soup with no tortilla’s, the saltine just might be the most used – and underrated cracker out there.

EAT!

If you're up early to eat, brag. If not, don't

2008-11-05T11:27:00.003-06:00

Why do people who get up early brag about getting up early? You don’t get a prize. When is the last time a co-worker or friend said “I got up at 8 a.m. today” like it was supposed to mean something. But sure enough, you can bet someone very soon will say “I got up at 5 a.m. this morning” and think you should be wowed by that (like the person who I work with who just said that, for example).

I get up early, but I go to bed early, so what’s the difference if you go to bed late and get up later? Or, if you go to bed early and sleep late? Get what you need to done in-between that and it doesn’t matter if you get up late, early or in-between. Now, if they got up early and said “I got up early so I could eat 6 White Castle cheeseburgers to start the day.” Then that’s a good reason to brag about getting up early. Or, “I got up early, had some leftover pizza, then went back to bed for a while.” That’s another good reason.

But why is someone special just because they get up early? Unless you have a good reason (like getting up to eat) – not just because that’s when you start your day, you aren’t any more special or important than the next person.

This was not so much food related, but hey, how about this: I got up early today and when I got home Food Gal had already made me toast and hard-boiled eggs for breakfast – and packed a lunch of pasta salad and an apple. By 9 a.m., the pasta salad was gone.

Hey, maybe this getting up early thing is something to think about – because then you can eat more earlier! But it still doesn’t make you any more important or give you a reason to think people should care.

Trick or Eat! If Food Guy ran Halloween

2008-10-31T19:26:00.008-05:00

If Food guy ran Halloween, these are ten things I'd make sure happened:

1. Instead of handing out candy, I'd hand out buffalo wings, chicken strips, quesadillas, breaded mushrooms - and other appetizer-type foods. Who needs the sugar anyway? When people got home, instead of checking for pins and needles, they'd check for bones.

2. Remember that one house on the block, where you always got the full-sized candy bar? You'd look forward to that each and every year. If Food Guy ran Halloween - I'd be that guy. But it wouldn't be a full-sized candy bar. Instead, I'd have the grill going, and when trick or eaters came by, I'd give them a nice juicy steak, or a brat, or a chicken breast. People would look forward to going to The Food Guy's each and every year.

3. I'd require costumes to be that of a chef, server, bartender, buffet line worker, fast food worker, grocery store cashier - anything that represents those who help us enjoy eating and drinking.

4. If someone came to the door and yelled: Trick or eat I would do two things. If it was a trick, I would do a trick with the food - like flipping some flapjacks. If they said eat, well, then I would eat.

5. I would also consider changing the name to a more food-oriented theme - maybe Halloweiner, for example.

6. Instead of carrying a pumpkin-themed basket to put candy in, I'd carry a Fry Daddy (it has a handle), with some hot grease...that way, if I got some wings or mushrooms, I could put them in and reheat them right away and eat from house to house.

7. Instead of carving pumpkins, I would encourage the carving of a ham. Or better yet, instead of cutting a scary face with a candle in it, I'd cut a face of a guy (or gal) eating. Instead of a candle, put a sandwich in his mouth, maybe a buffalo wing, something like.

8. Instead of scary shows clogging up the TV channels all night long, there would be all food-related shows on cable and network TV. No Halloween 4, instead, it would be Good Eats on the Food Network or Diners, Drives and Drive-ins, or Bizarre Foods - maybe for example, a look at Halloween with other cultures and the food they pass out on Halloween.

9. Instead of going to Halloween parties dressed up in their favorite costume, adult would go with their best potluck. Instead of "Oh look, the Smith's are dressed as Sonny and Cher" it would be "Oh look, the Smith's brought that great taco dip we had last year. I can't wait to get it."

10. I would have more food than any trick or eater on the block, and I would come home, eat it all and get sick - and be happy doing it.

Meat Store Methods and Beef Stick Schemes

2008-10-29T20:08:00.002-05:00

I went to the meat store tonight. There is a new meat store in my town. I went to the grocery store to get some chicken breasts quick, then realized I should go support the local butcher. I made a quick run through the store and got slices of cheese, bananas, sandwich pickles and chocolate milk – all quick things on an end aisle.

As I was at the meat store getting chicken, a guy got 3 pounds of ground beef. As the butcher took a big heaping pile of beef (a great sight indeed) and put it on the scale, he came to 3.4 pounds. He politely asked the customer if that was okay, and he said yes.

It got me thinking, you know, I am sure people in deli’s and at meat stores do that on purpose. If you think about it, they grab a pound of deli slices here, a few pounds of beef there – all day long every day. You know they can get a pretty good idea of how much they are scooping up after doing it everyday, and I can guarantee most experienced butchers or deli workers have an idea of how much they are scooping up. It might be tougher with say, turkey vs. salami, because they are not as proportionate, turkey is more thick, while salami is lighter and fluffier and round. But I am always amazed at the deli worker – usually a middle-aged woman – who can pick up a pound of roast beef, and get it right on the money – one pound exactly. What a great skill – and efficient too, because then she can get back to making potato salad.

But really, adding excess in a secretive way is a good tactic, because if you do go over, people are still going to buy the meat. Why not get a little extra while you are at it? Butchers and deli workers are all about the profits as well.

I pulled a quick on the butcher though – and I had the last laugh today. I got some chicken breasts and some marrow bones for the dog. I was eyeing up some beef sticks on the top shelf – after I paid. I asked how much they were and started going through my wallet – even though I knew I had no cash on me. I said “sorry, I guess I’ll have to try them next time.”

Since I was a paying customer, the butcher wanted to promote the product to me, so he reached in and gave me a beef stick for free. It was quite tasty.

So, while butcher and deli workers might try and pull fast ones when weighing meat, I pulled a fast one with the old “I don’t have any cash on me,” trick…although it was true, I didn’t.

Samples are great, and any butcher worth his weight in meat will gladly give a free sample. For that, I will definitely be going back – even if they do pull meat schemes of their own.

Pilot's and Popeye's Fried Chicken

2008-10-22T09:47:00.003-05:00

Had Popeye’s Fried Chicken for the first time ever last night. Was quite tasty – had the spicy cajun chicken breast. I was debating to eat it since I just had a cheeseburger and fries and four tall glasses of beer. But, I was near a Popeye’s and had to try it

It was pretty good – but I’d be cautious about eating a lot or on a regular basis.

My flight was delayed for a few hours so I had some down time. When I was eating the Popeye’s, I saw what turned out to be the pilots of my flight eating Popeye’s. They even passed me getting on the plane with a bag of Popeye’s.

As I flew I wondered if they were eating the chicken, digging through the bag as we were flying. You know, like one does when driving, yet on a plane.

Pilot A: Hey Dewey can you pass me a leg?

Pilot B: Sure, oh wait, I ate the leg, you get the thigh.

Pilot B then reaches over to Pilot A and hands him the chicken.

I wonder if, when eating and a piece of chicken falls down and Pilot A has to pick it up, what the risk is when flying, and how it differs than when driving?

It then got me thinking….what do you do when you are a pilot and just ate, and then get gassy? You can’t really roll down your window to let the smell out?

Pilot A: Uh-oh, I think I am going to fart.

Pilot B: Aww man, come on, roll your window down if you do.

Pilot A: Ummm, I can’t really.

Pilot B; Man, you stink, that’s awful.

I think pilots deal with the same food issues the rest of use do. They eat, pass gas, and share and talk about food like the rest of us…they just can’t roll the window down.

Counting Cards? No, Counting Chews

2008-10-22T09:43:00.004-05:00

On the flight down the man next to me was devouring a burrito he brought on the plane. I was really impressed by the way he ate it, and just seemed to enjoy the tasty looking burrito.

As he was sitting there, I watched his every move out of the corner of my eye, and then I did an unoffiical survey and counted his chews for each bite. His least amount was 11, and the most was 19. It took him 6 bites to finish the burrito, and he had 11, 13, 17, 15, 17 and 19 chews of each bite before swallowing. In a few bites though, he would chew about 12-14 times, swallow, then continue chewing. I just was so happy as I could imagine the joy he had as the tasty food slid down his throat to his belly, satisfying the hunger and taste buds.

It got me thinking…do you ever count your chews before swallowing? How many chews do you have per bite? Something to think about next time you eat.

Breakfast Buffets

2008-10-22T09:41:00.002-05:00

Had some great food on the trip. Included was southern fried pork fritters, cheesy southern grits with rock shrimp and red peppers (fantastic), beef tenderloin, tortilla soup, spinach, and one of the greatest breakfast buffets I have ever been a part of. It had everything. I went heavy on the fruit and yogurt (and of course the bacon and sausage). I don’t like to overbeef at breakfast so I avoided the French toast, pancakes, syrup and other pastries. But I had some scrambled eggs, stuffed roma tomatoes, blueberries, strawberries, berries, a few hashy b’s and lots of orange juice and water.

I’m not a big breakfast guy, but this was a big breakfast for The Food Guy, guy. It was fantastic.

At an evening dinner I made friends with one of the chefs who carves the meat. The second time I went up he spotted me and had my beef ready. I asked him if he got it ready and saw me coming and he said “Oh yeah, from about 100 yards away I knew you were coming.”

Meat Day

2008-10-15T10:20:00.003-05:00

Looking back at yesterday, I had five different kinds of meat:

Turkey sub from Subway
Lamb from gyro
Chicken from chicken breasts ate when got home from work
Beef from hamburger ate when got home from work
Pork from sausage from sausage, onion and green olive pizza from local pizza place later in evening.

Here’s how it went down. When I got home I was hungry but didn’t want to cook. I was late for Little Food Gal’s conference, Food Gal was working late and things were in a rush. I had some leftover grilled chicken breasts from the night before, and some burgers from Sunday night.

So, while I was feeding LFG, getting her pajama’s on and ready for bed, I ate the chicken breasts here and there – they were cold, taking a bit each time I walked into the kitchen to get something for LFG. I also then ate a hamburger – no bun – just nuked up and dipped in ketchup – a great treat, while deciding what to have for dinner (Is it dinner or supper? I like supper, but today I will use dinner).

So, while I was finishing that meat, FG was on her way home from work and we decided to get a pizza. Thus, the sausage in the pizza added pork to give me the five-finger morsels of meat I ate throughout the day.

I should have had a slice of deer sausage to make it six.

What’s the most types of meat you have ever devoured in a day?

Double lunch? Depends on your theory of eating

2008-10-14T12:32:00.003-05:00

When I was in school I would eat two lunches everyday, and on that one day when we had turkey and gravy over biscuits, I would eat three.

A while ago I wrote wondering if you could eat two lunches in one day. I had a similar scenario today.

I missed breakfast and didn’t get something to eat right away when I got to work. Around 10 a.m. I was starving. I went to Subway and got a 6-inch turkey sub as a tasty treat to hold me over. I came back to the office and a co-worker said “wow, lunch already?” People just assume if you are eating Subway it's lunch.

That got me thinking – if you eat at 10 a.m., is it breakfast or lunch? Or is it a snack? And, does it depend on the type of food you eat. Around 10 a.m. you see hordes of workers out getting coffees, thinking the caffeine is going to lighten their day and improve their crappy jobs. I also saw a guy eating a mammoth chocolate chip cookie. So, are those people having breakfast (for some coffee is breakfast), or a snack? And, if I was eating a blueberry muffin, would my co-worker have said anything at all, because muffins are considered acceptable morning foods? Why is it even classified in a breakfast, lunch, dinner anyway? Instead of three squares a day, I like to eat four to five rounds a day. So, really it’s not breakfast, lunch, dinner, it’s eat, eat, eat, eat, eat.

Back to topic. If you eat at 10 a.m. would you say you are eating breakfast, lunch or a snack? And if it’s a sub, why is that considered lunch, when for me it was a snack?

Two hours later I had a gyro and fries for lunch – or was it for a snack? By the way, I got the gyro and fries, but wanted the Greek rice. The thing is, that seasoning you put on fries at a Greek restaurant is so good. But after I got the fries I wanted the rice. Such dilemmas.

What do you prefer at 10 a.m.? Is it lunch? Is it a snack? Is it breakfast? Depends on your theory of eating.

Food Stares

2008-10-09T12:13:00.002-05:00

I just ate the new chicken pizzaiola from Subway, it was quite tasty. I had it on Italian bread, and it comes with pepperoni and chicken, topped with red sauce and your choice of cheese (American). I added salt and pepper and oregano and parmesan cheese. I am not usually a big fan of red sauce on chicken, but this was a good sub.

As I was walking back to my desk with my Subway, I checked out what other people were carrying. Then it dawned on me how people look at you different if you walk with a Subway bag instead of say, McDonald’s or Burger King or something.

If you walk with Subway people look at you like “oh Subway, that guy must be concerned about his health. He must be healthy or trying to eat what’s right.”

But If it’s McDonald’s or BK, or Taco Bell you are looked at like a bum in Beverly Hills. “Oh, look at that guy eating McDonald’s. Geez, does he really need to eat that? Good job chubby, keep eating the fatty food.”

They don’t say anything, but you can tell by the looks, the stares, the body language and facial expressions.

But you know what? Deep down they are really saying “ooh yeah, I could go for a Big Mac, a Whopper or a six pack of tacos and a bean burrito.”

Bottom line: Eat what you want and stare back.

Food Guy's Food Quirks

2008-10-03T12:55:00.007-05:00

Everyone has food quirks. Here are 10 quick quirks of the food guy:

1. I love tomatoes, and can eat them plain (with a little salt), but don't like tomatoes on my sandwiches, or hamburgers.

2. I like bacon, but I don't like bacon on a burger or a sandwich.

3. I was at Subway the other day and got some oil on my tuna sub. I asked the guy what it was and he said it was vegetable oil. Then I thought - who really puts oil on their sandwiches at home? Let's see, mayo, mustard, cheese, lettuce, tomato...vegetable oil? Weird. I would do it again at Subway, but never at home.

4. I like lettuce, but not on my sandwiches, unless it's from Subway or Jimmy John's. If I make a sandwich at home, I don't like lettuce.

5. Do any of you count your swallows when chugging a glass of milk? It takes me about 14 swallows to chug an average glass of milk. However, I will never finish the chug on 13 swallows, so if I do get close to the end, I'll take two small swallows to get past 14. I wear #13 in softball sometimes but don't want to drink 13 chugs to finish a glass of milk.

6. I like milk in my cereal (duh!)...but I don't like drinking milk when eating my cereal. I am not talking about the milk in the cereal bowl, but just a glass of milk with my cereal.

7. When I was a young food guy I used to make my mom make me grilled cheese sandwiches without the cheese. Today, I eat them with cheese.

8. I won't eat lunch - no matter how hungry I am, until I have something to read. I don't get those people who just sit and eat and stare off at the surroundings around them. Or those people who eat in a car in a fast food parking lot - especially when it's 90 degrees and they have no air conditioning.

9. I will only dip my steak in steak sauce. Food Gal on the other hand, pours the steak sauce all over the steak. I don't get that. I like some bites plain, and some bites with steak sauce. It depends on the steak, because sometime sauce isn't needed. For me, the better quality, no steak sauce. The worse the quality, steak sauce is needed (like if you have steak and eggs for breakfast from the local greasy spoon - the meat is usually a little tough so steak sauce is needed.)

10. I like ketchup on my scrambled eggs, but I was thinking this morning, why do people only put ketchup on scrambled eggs, but not on over easy/fried eggs? I would never put ketchup on my eggs over easy, but prefer ketchup on scrambled eggs.

Those are 10 quick food quirks of the food guy. Look for more in the near future. Until then....EAT!!!

What are your favorite types of potato chips?

2008-09-26T10:54:00.002-05:00

I had a tough dilemma today when making lunch this morning. Do I have the Old Dutch sour cream and onion chips, or the sour cream and onion Pringles?

It got me thinking: Are you a regular or ruffled chip fan? What is your favorite flavor? Or do you like Pringles? Or, perhaps kettle chips? Who would have ever imagined there would be so many chip varieties?

Note: Have you ever really looked at a Pringles container? What is up with the picture of the guy on the package? The guy has no ears, and no mouth or nose. He has a little bit of hair on top, eyes and a bushy moustache. But no ears, nose or mouth? Does he even get to eat the Pringles he promotes? Who in the Pringles marketing department said “yeah, that guy looks like a great representation of what we are trying to promote?” Who is he anyway? Does he have a name or is it just “that guy on the Pringles box?”

Anyway…I went with the Pringles today, because I had the regular sour cream and onion yesterday with my Italian BMT from Subway. Today I made a ham sandwich at home, with some potato salad and potato chips. No mashed potatoes, however.

How many of you get just plain regular potato chips? There are so many chip flavors out there (The food guys favorites: Sour cream and onion, cheddar and sour cream, jalapeno cheddar kettle) it can really be a tough decision. But when it comes to plain chips, the only time I ever get them is if get the French onion dip to dip it in. These two together are a great combo. I don’t really like dipping, say, sour cream and onion chips into a French onion dip. It’s kind of like Doritos (they are a separate chip family from the potato chip, but have similar qualities), I don’t like dipping Doritos in salsa, and instead like them plain. I like sour cream and onion chips plain, and not to use with dipping.

I always loved that big huge box at the store that was plain black and white, and just said “Potato Chips” on it. They tasted just like the other chips, they just looked plain.

I do like the fact that Pringles are easy to get out, you don’t have to reach into a loud bag to get them, and they make a good snack when traveling. And, they don’t get crushed, along with the bread, when you pack them in the grocery bag.

Chips are a great addition to any lunch. What are your favorites?

My Experience at Panera Bread

2008-09-26T10:34:00.003-05:00

Below is the transcript of my recent experience at Panera Bread. This resulted in getting a coupon for $6 to use at my next visit at Panera:

Topic: My experience at Panera Bread

Comments:

I frequent this Panera quite a bit for breakfast, to get the asiago cheese bagel and sundried tomato cream cheese - very good. I've recently expanded to lunch. I can't be more disappointed with the sandwiches. Where is the meat? Today I had the chicken ceaser sandwich and there was more tomato and lettuce than meat. I had two bites into my half sandwich with no meat. I would have complained at the store but I got it to go and was back at my desk with a meeting in front of me so I couldn't leave.

The other time I got a chicken salad sandwich and it was the same thing- hardly any meat. I ate at the store so I asked for more. If I wantedthe bread and fixings to dominate my sandwich I'd go to Subway. Tomato and lettuce should not look like the main ingredient in a sandwich, unless it's a BLT. I was very disappointed with this and will definitely think twice about getting another Panera sandwich. They are very good, but the meat portions are very poor.

Thanks,

The Food Guy

*****************************************************************

Dear Food Guy,

Thank you for taking the time to contact us regarding your visit to our XXXXX location. We sincerely apologize for your disappointing experience with the your sandwich. I forwarded your comments to the District Manager for review.

We always strive to provide a wonderful meal, great service and a welcoming environment for our customers. When we fall short of that goal, we want to know about it. Thanks to feedback like yours, we canaddress problems quickly. Please forward your address, and I will be happy to send you a certificate for a treat on us. Please allow approximately two weeks for delivery.

Thanks again for contacting us.

We appreciate your business and value your comments.

Sincerely,

Isabella
Customer Comment Coordinator

Food or Fireworks and Other Random Musings

2008-07-02T12:36:00.002-05:00

Random Musings:

Just ate the new Subway Reuben sandwich. I should have known better. It was luke warm, even after being toasted and I tasted more bun than corned beef and kraut. Worth the try, but won’t eat again. Grade: D

I saw one woman stand in a line of about 10 people for a bag of chips. I wondered if she had lunch back at the office or if she just wanted chips. I pegged her for a vegan, so who knows what she was eating – probably carrots and chips.

While getting a Sports Weekly to read while eating I saw for sale, oxygen. Seriously, does anyone buy this? I think they should market meat in a can. Don’t have time for a burger, get your fix with meat in a can. It could spray out like cheeze whiz or something.

Speaking of meat, you ever noticed chicken gets the shaft? Besides poultry, what else is chicken called? Chicken – that’s it. But with beef there is all kinds of variations including steraks such as ribeye, t-bone, porterhouse, sirloin, or hamburger, etc. For pork there is pork, ham, bacon, etc. For chicken there is just…chicken. No other name. Weak.

The 4^th of July is approaching and to me there is no bigger waste of money than fireworks. I’ve had two people tell me they are having parties where one bought $2,500 of Class A fireworks, another bought $400. Why, I ask? Especially since fireworks haven’t evolved in…ever? Seriously, with technological advances and all the new things out there, how come fireworks never change? They are always the same. Ooohhhh, ahhhhh, blah blah blah. I’d much rather spend the money on food. I’d rather say to my friends, come on over, I got $2,500 of Class A top choice steak ready to fire on the grill. We can all stand around and watch it cook and say “oooohhhh, aaaahhhhhhh.” Or, we could spend $200 on some good food and some good drink, that way when we oooohhh and ahhhhh we can have a tasty buzz and slur our words a bit. I wonder what oooohhhh aaahhh for fireworks sounds like a little slurred? Try it out this weekend and let me know.

Bottom line, fireworks are overrated, and the money is better spent on food and drink.

That’s all, happy Fourth!

PS – I heard that sound the other day, the “tick tick tick tick”…..”tick, tick, tick, tick”….what is it? It’s the sound of the gas grill when you know it is getting low but hope you don’t have to refill just quite yet. Fortunately I didn’t run out of propane – just yet. It's got a few more tick tick ticks left.

EAT!

Birthday Cake or Birthday Steak?

2008-06-25T12:03:00.003-05:00

I was at a birthday celebration Sunday and as the candles were blown out, I thought – where did the origin of having a cake for a birthday come from? And, why is it always a birthday cake? Why can’t you have something different for a birthday celebration?

I think it’s time to mix it up.

Therefore, it’s time to replace the traditional birthday cake with a birthday steak!!!

You could put candles in the steak and blow it out. Obviously, you can’t just share one piece of steak, so more are needed. People could share the steak and comment on it "boy that's a good steak, where did you get it at?" Instead of talking about bakery's, you could talk about meat markets. 'I got it from John the butcher, he gave us a great deal."

The question is, what do you pair with the steak? It may sound good, but “steak and ice cream” may not be the best combination. Would it be another item, such as say, potato? Or, shrimp? Or, a veggie? Or maybe people want steak and ice cream, and they can use A-1 steak sauce as the topping, similar to chocolate syrup with cake and ice cream? Give that a try sometime and see how it works for yah!

And imagine if the invites go out.

What: Birthday party
For: Little Johnny
When: July 28
What to Expect: Games, prizes, swimming and steak and ice cream!

WHOA! You can bet the local moms club would be calling about that.

Traditions are good, but sometimes, they need to be refreshed. That’s why I recommend replacing the traditional birthday cake with the birthday steak!

Eat on!!!!!!!!!

Clean out the Fridge Day!

2008-06-22T12:50:00.005-05:00

About every other Sunday I spend time cleaning out the fridge. There are many reasons for this. One is to clean out the leftovers from the last week (or week before if a Sunday is missed). Two, it’s to find any missing food items I may have forgot about. And finally, the biggest reason is to keep the fridge neat, tidy and organized. A messy fridge is a hindrance to the eating experience. It’s frustrating to look into the fridge and not know where things are at, if you are out of them, or what you need to get.

For example, One Sunday I cleaned out the fridge and noticed we had, scattered in various places throughout the fridge, three different containers of parmesan cheese. Why in the world would anyone need three containers of parmesan cheese at one time in their fridge?

Thus, a fridge audit can be a very beneficial experience.

(Note - my preferred method of music while doing this is listening to the 70’s channel on the Music Choice channel on cable. Some of the groovy tunes are a perfect fit for cleaning the fridge with the windows open and a nice breeze blowing in. Another note: while doing this I am eating a piece of leftover pizza, and drinking a diet coke. Little Food Gal is chugging some chocolate milk, and Food Gal is out and about getting more food items to put in fridge.)

What else did I find? Here are some items:

* Root beer flavored yogurt - expiration date June 18 - tossed
* Yoplait Light strawberry yogurt container - not with yogurt, but with au jus from roast beef au jus sandwiches earlier in the week - tossed
* Leftover corn in a plastic container; more leftover corn blended in another container, for little food gal - tossed
* Applesauce
* a bottle of wine
* potato salad (week old, contemplating tossing)
* In the bottom crisper: Diet coke and seven Voyageur extra pale ale beers
* In the middle crisper: tomatoes, broccoli, romaine lettuce, a tangerine, green apple (whatever happened to Green Apple Quick Step?), and celery.
* Eggs
* In the top drawer (this appears to be the junk drawer of the fridge, as many items I am not sure I want to keep appear here): Gorgonzola cheese (it‘s not my favorite cheese, but try saying it ten times fast, certainly more difficult than saying Colby ten times fast), two different bags of baby carrots that look they should be tossed; quarter stick of deer sausage, some deli salami that had “sell by 5/24/08“ on it; four pieces of bologna with white spots on one side; half an onion; two pound bag of deli roast beef, with about less than a pound left (still good); provolone cheese; block of sharp cheddar cheese; two flour tortilla’s; a plastic bag of colby/jack cheese slices with no cheese in the package; two limes; a half a block of sharp cheddar cheese; some shredded Mexican style cheese; another package of flour tortillas.
* Next shelf - this is at eye level, where most things get “shoved” with no consideration for the consequences of placing these items here: a small cup of chocolate milk; a Tupperware container with one petit cut no-name steak in it; a container of spaghettio’s; a container of leftover baked beans; a small container of store bought “big yummy caramel turtle brownies." Note: That is what the store labeled it, I would never use the word “yummy” and neither should any other male - ever; Jello, spaghetti noodles, spaghetti sauce, olives, a baked potato all by itself, tucked back in the corner.
* Top shelf: Quite the array of items here - mushroom caps, cream cheese, cottage cheese, sour cream, leftover spaghetti in a blender bowl for LFG, Hershey’s syrup, Amoxicillin for LFG; salsa, grey poupon, cherry’s, garden relish, asian inspired grilling paste, homemade tartar sauce, blueberries, two more jars of salsa

Overall, it wasn’t too bad since there was a recent fridge cleaning. I also cleared the top of the fridge and found some multi-grain wraps that I never knew we had, tossed out some bags of chips that were nearly empty and all broken, and, I also cleaned the freezer, but that’s a whole other story.

Cleaning the fridge is a good thing to do, and produces good results. And most of all you can look in the fridge, get right to it and know what you have or don’t have. When there is eating to be done you don’t want to have to waste time looking through the fridge. The bottom line: Dominate control of your fridge, don’t let the fridge control you.

Happy eating!

Chicken Sandwiches and a Cook Cam

2008-06-18T11:45:00.006-05:00

Just got back from an early lunch. Didn’t have much – actually anything, for breakfast, so the hunger pains were striking around 10 a.m. I went to a local diner that has had mixed reviews. I wanted to give it a try for lunch, and I was craving a grilled chicken sandwich.

In my lifetime, I’ve probably ordered a chicken sandwich no more than five times when out to eat. I think it’s because I eat so much chicken at home, I want something else when I am out.

Anyway, down to business:

I ordered the grilled chicken sandwich which comes with fries and cole slaw, and washed it down with a diet coke. I was curious to see how this would turn out. When I got it, the appearance was good, and the slaw was in a separate bowl on the plate, which kept my slaw juice from touching my bread or my fries. Good job by the cook, I don’t like my food touching.

I was a little leery of the chicken sandwich being on bread, I am a bun man with chicken sandwiches. I got the sandwich and opened up one half, and there was barely any chicken on that side. I opened up the other and it was a little better but not great. What was going on was, the bread/tomatoes, and lettuce were the dominating factors of the sandwich. The main part of the sandwich – the meat – should always be what stands out. Not the bread or bun, or other toppings. So, it was disappointing that the chicken breast was so little. They actually could have put one breast on each side of the sandwich, that would have been ideal. It tasted good, just needed more meat. When I was two bites into one half of the sandwich the meat was gone, so I had a tomato, cheese, mayo and lettuce sandwich. I thought, you know, if I had some bacon, this could be a good BLT. So, do I order a side of bacon if I get the chicken sandwich again, and turn it into a chicken and BLT sandwich? Two half sandwiches for one?

It was very slow in the restaurant. After one couple left and another guy got some food to go, I was the only one in the restaurant beside the two cooks and server.

I noticed that immediately after my food was brought out both cooks made a mad dash right to the bathroom. This concerned me – what was going through the cooks mind when making my food? Was he thinking “oh man, I got to hurry up and make this sandwich because I really have to take a dump?” Or. “Oh god, I am going to piss my pants if I don’t get this done.” When I walked in he was sitting in the restaurant on his cell phone. So, in a ten minute span he went from front of the restaurant, to making a sandwich, to who knows what in the bathroom. The other cook, a female, came and went to the bathroom as well, but she seemed obsolete (not because she was female, but because I don’t think she had much to do with my sandwich).

As I was eating I felt the three employees were staring at me – they all looked bored. Then I noticed in the back, the cook had a laptop computer up. I then thought – was he watching video of himself making my food? Maybe there is a “cook cam” hooked up in the kitchen that is used as a method of training for the kitchen workers? Was he watching how he made my sandwich? Could he tell when he moved to the left or right a bit, and that urge to “squeeze back in” whatever it is he had to dispose of in the bathroom started coming on? Was it a camera from a few angles? What did he learn from this sandwich making experience? Did he drop the fries at the right time? Was the timing down? There are all sorts of options or angles that could have developed from a potential cook cam and video review.

Or, was he watching cooking video highlights on You Tube? Or maybe the Food Network, getting some tips and ideas? There was a ton of possibilities.

When it was time to go my server brought me my check and placed it on the table upside down. Why do servers give you your check upside down? Is it like it’s going to be a surprise when you turn it over? I knew my lunch was $6.99 when I ordered, and my soda was $1.85. When I turned it over, sure enough, with tax, it was $9.41. It’s probably just an old habit.

Anyway my lunch experience was overall, a C. I tried something new that I don’t eat much at a place I haven’t ate at much before. The real test will come in the future. I noticed after I ordered they have a hot roast beef and gravy sandwich on the menu. Any restaurant that wants to succeed must make this sandwich successfully. I look forward to going back to give it a try. Hopefully the meat will dominate the bread, not the bread dominating the meat.

Do you like to mix your meats?

2008-06-17T14:09:00.006-05:00

I just got on to an elevator, and coming out was a woman whose voice sounded like Chris Farley. Whoa.

Anyway, what’s up with meat? As in, do you like mixing your meats on your pizza?

I’m a one meat at a time kind of guy. For example, many people love the meat pizza with sausage, pepperoni, Canadian bacon, hamburger, bacon, etc. Not me. I love eating meat, but, I like the meat I am eating to be the dominant ingredient.

For example, I like Pepperoni pizza and nothing else. I like sausage, mushroom and onion, or sausage, mushroom and green olive. I like plain Canadian Bacon. Notice the trend? I don’t like a combo pizza of sausage and pepperoni. I don’t like the “meat lover’s” pizza because I don't think it’s fair to make meats compete against each other. But some people do - some say the meats complement each other and that’s good for them.

On another subject, I often find that most people are willing to mix sausage with other ingredients, but maybe order Pepperoni separately. I am probably biased because I don’t do it, but you don’t seem to hear people say I want the Pepperoni and onions as much as the sausage and onion or Canadian bacon and pineapple. I’m not much of a fruit guy on my pizza, but why is pineapple the only fruit most people put on or can get on pizza, and why is pineapple only always allowed with Canadian bacon? And what’s up Chorizo, why isn’t that called Mexican bacon? How come the Canadians get to call their form of meat by it’s country name, but Mexican’s can’t? I tell you what, they need better marketing south of the border.

One other thing - I think, unless you are really hungover and just want a junk pizza (junk as in it’s got a lot of junk on it but tastes really good), there should be a three topping rule on pizzas (extra cheese doesn’t count). Any more than three ingredients, and you are starting to expand the capabilities of your ingredients beyond their limitations.

Anyway, I don’t like mixing my meats.

As for you, it’s up to you. Mix and match all you want, I’ll take the plain pepperoni, or the sausage, onion and green olive or mushroom.

Preheat? No – Pre-eat!

2008-06-09T21:39:00.004-05:00

For years, foodies like you and I have always preheated things that called for it. Got a frozen pizza? Preheat the oven. Want to grill some meat? Preheat the grill. Want to make a cake (hey, we have to consider our female readers also), preheat the oven!

It’s time to evolve the pre-heat into the next great concept of eating. It’s called Pre-eating!

What exactly is pre-eating? Here are a few examples. Let’s say you are making tacos. These take a bit of time to get all the ingredients into the shell (look for a future discussion about how to build your taco). If you’re like me and about to eat tacos, your mouth is watering, and you are just waiting to devour the juicy/flavorful Mexican treat. This is where pre-eating comes into play. What you do is, while making your tacos – say you want to make 3-5 first then sit down and eat – you make one before you make the other 3-5. By pre-making a taco, you can concentrate on eating that taco, while making the other tacos. This satisfies that immediate hunger, and the desire to taste the tasty treats known as tacos. This also gives you time to create your taco the way you want, to taste it, and adjust as you make the main set of tacos. Did you put too much taco sauce on? Too much meat? Maybe you want more cheese? Or, did you forget the sour cream? By pre-eating, we can solve our hunger pains, and conquer our quest to make the perfect food – in this case, tacos.

Another example: Tonight I was grilling some chicken, steaming some broccoli and wanted one more side dish (I also made a chocolate/banana/peanut butter shake for Little Food Gal – her favorite). I chose instant potatoes. In reality, instant potatoes are quite possibly the easiest food to make. Boil water, remove from heat, inset package, whisk to perfection. This poses another question: Have you ever made a packaged food where the amount of cups of water indicated on the directions is really enough? For example, the instant mashy P’s called for 2 cups of water. I put in three because I knew two would leave them dry and not edible. It’s the same with packaged rice – you always have to add like twice as much water as possible. Has anyone ever made packaged food successfully without burning the bottom of the pan, or having completely dry food by following the exact amount of water suggested on the package?

When I make instant potatoes, I like to sprinkle the salt and pepper in before whisking. I then take the fork, put it in the tub of butter, and add a heaping spoonful of butter in while I whisk. It’s a magical site, watching that butter melt away in your fast-developing batch of mashed potatoes.

Back to the topic of pre-eating. Why are instant mashy P’s good for pre-eating? Because while you are flipping the chicken and steaming the broccoli, you can sample the potatoes before you eat. You pre-eat samples of the potatoes between flips of the chicken on the grill, adjusting of the broccoli in the steamer, and so forth. I did a three step process: 1. Made potatoes, whisked them, sampled to see if there was enough salt/pepper/butter. 2. Added broccoli to steamer 3. Rotated chicken on grill. Repeat.

Then, when I was ready to serve up the chicken and broccoli I did it in reverse order. Chicken on the plate, broccoli on the plate – then potatoes on the plate. But before I put the potatoes on the plate, I took another bite to satisfy my hunger from the short trip to the kitchen to the table.

So, while pre-heating has been a part of eating for ages, it’s time to learn the tricks of the trade of the next great evolution in eating: Pre-eating! Try it next time you cook – you’ll love it.

KFC Teases us But Never Pleases Us

2008-06-05T12:09:00.003-05:00

Been on the road for a few days. As I sit at the airport right now, there is a KFC right in front of me. I just ate a salad and cheeseburger for lunch at a airport restaurant, it was quality. Although, I was a little leery at first, it came from an Italian deli style restaurant. One of my rules is don’t buy food from convenience store/gas station restaurants and don’t buy other food items from other places that don’t specialize in that type of food. For example, has anyone ever ordered buffalo wings from a pizza place that were any good, especially after delivery?

Anyway, why is it that the food looks so good on the KFC commercials, yet after eating, feels so damaging to one’s body, mind and spirit? Every time I see a KFC commercial I want to go get some crispy mouth-watering chicken, some tasty mashed potatoes loaded with gravy, and some cole slaw. It looks so good – but after eating is soooooooo bad!

So, as these people are in line ordering I am watching them and thinking “I wonder what they will feel like when they are done? Will they hurt? Will they puke? What noises will their stomach make? Do woman have different results than men? Do men and women make different stomach noises? Is it the same noises/results as say, when you eat McDonald’s or Taco Bell?”

They should do some stomach noise testing after people eat at those places.

Anyway, about to board the plane.

But before that, I just might get some KFC boneless buffalo wings…

Eating on an Expense Account

2008-06-05T12:08:00.003-05:00

It’s been a good week of eating. It started off Sunday evening with some steak and walleye for a birthday celebration. I washed it down with an icy cold large mug of Coors Light. The negative was that we ate outside, in an area with some thick trees and weeds near a river. It was prime time mosquito haven, and we spent more time fighting mosquitoes than enjoying the food. They even brought out bug spray, but it didn’t do much. I thought about adding the bug spray to my salad or bread – kind of like spray on butter or dressing, but didn’t think it would be a good addition.

Monday, left for a work trip. Since it was expensed, I decided to indulge a little more. It started with some French toast, bacon and diet coke for breakfast at the hotel airport. After travels and about an eight hour delay I headed to the steak house behind my hotel. This steak house was well known according to the reviews, I was less than impressed. I had a 14 ounce sirloin, which was about six ounces of grizzle and fat, and some crawfish loaded mashed potatoes, which were quite tasty. The steak was a C at best, if I was paying it would have been disappointing. The highlight of the dinner, however, was eavesdropping on the suave businessman who had left his wife and was clearly with an escort. The woman was much younger and just didn’t seem like a woman who would be with this guy, unless paid for or getting paid to be with on a consistent basis. I overheard suave businessman tell said escort he needed to be on his “A” game the next day at work, and her response was “what does that mean?” Business guy then had to explain to bimbo gal the definition of what it means to be “on you’re A game.” Smart one there.

He then proceeded to ask her “what is it you see in me when you could have any guy you want?” That was after he said “yeah, I left my wife a year ago but it’s hard, it takes time.”

Anyway, the steak was average, but the in-restaurant conversation was solid. Would I go back? Only if I wasn’t paying….

On The Road: Dinner Two

2008-06-05T12:07:00.001-05:00

Last night I had dinner with some work colleagues. We had a solid feast. I had four Fat Tire Pale Ale beers, some seared ahi tuna, and we had an appetizer of deli-style duck, ham, salami, speck and some other deli meat, which was quite tasty. We ate it with a spicy mustard sauce and bread, or without bread if wanted. We also ordered the family style asparagus and au gratin potatoes – all good stuff. It was one of those stuffy places I wouldn’t have ate if I wasn’t paying, but it was mighty good. The tuna portions were small, but with the other apps, beers and side dishes, I was a satisfied customer. Then again, I probably would go there again even if I was paying, it was that good. Sometimes it better to not eat at a few crappy places and save that for one trip to a nicer place.

Travel skips

2008-06-05T12:05:00.002-05:00

Why is it that people think they are cooler than they are because they are at an airport or traveling? Last night I went to get the late menu from the hotel bar – I was craving some buffalo wings and it wasn’t on the room service list – and I walked into the bar area, and there was some skip, all loud and drunk, talking to some gals saying “Aruba is great, but the whole Caribbean is just a great experience, I go their all the time.” I was at the hotel bar for about two minutes – they didn’t have wings so I left – but I just got the feel there were a bunch of annoying business heads of all ages who just wanted to stand around and pretend they were important because they were on business and had an expense account. They probably wanted to party with people from the trade show to show them how cool they are or how much they can drink. Nothing wrong with having a few cold one’s or stiff drinks, but don’t try to be somebody you are not. You’re really not that important.

You might think - what does this have to do with food? Well, if I never went to get those buffalo wings, I never would have got to witness guys trying to be Bobby Big Shot.

Anyway, still at the airport, and still watching people get in line at the KFC. Oh, their poor stomachs.

Great service – but spare the explanation

2008-06-05T12:02:00.002-05:00

I had some great service at the restaurant I just ate at. I told the server she did a great job and joked she needed an assistant. She then got into this big long rant and description of how the person who was supposed to come in didn’t come in, and that she didn’t know she wouldn’t have help but got through it even though she works better when she knows she doesn’t have help and is busy. I really wasn’t that interested in her story. I just wanted my bill and to pay so I could go sit and write about eating, not talk to the person who gave me the food I was eating. Anyway, she probably made some good tips on the day, but she didn’t need to talk about it.

Her one downfall? She called everyone honey. Why do female servers think they can get away with calling men honey? There is only one person who can call me honey (food gal). Is it me or does the server calling men honey usually look like she has a rough edge to her? Like she smokes too many cigarettes, used to drink a little too much (she still smokes at least a pack a day though), and has had bad luck with men? I don’t get it, don’t call me honey. Then again, I guess it’s better than “sir” which makes anyone feel older than they are, even if they are old.

The power of pizza rolls

2008-05-21T21:08:00.004-05:00

Just got home and want a snack, ate an early dinner and craving something. Am I really hungry and do I really need to eat? Probably not, but I like to read and eat, or is it eat and read? Whatever, they are a glorious combination and I am about to do both.

Speaking of glorious combinations, I had one of my summer favorites yesterday, a batch of radishes with some salt on them and a diet coke. The combo is great together and gives you some seriously powerful burps. But you always get the one woody, extra spicy radish that just doesn’t taste right. I like them cold, and sitting in water after a while after they are clean.

Anyway, I first had some of my homemade salsa with tortilla chips while settling in to read my new Sports Illustrated. This salsa was pretty good this time. I used five medium tomatoes, half a cup of jalapenos, green onion, white onion, half a red pepper, half an orange pepper, half a green pepper, a dash of Louisiana hot sauce, and mixed it with some salsa seasoning mix. I also added some jalapeno juice which I got on my hand and later rubbed in my eye which felt oh so good burning away.

So, I still wanted to eat more and even though the food gal came home with $165 in groceries the other night, I was not quite sure what I wanted. There was a frozen pizza in the fridge, but I had pizza the night before and just wasn’t up for another (well, I was up for it but I thought I’d hold off). Looked at making a shrimp and rice dish I had the night before, but passed. Looked at some deli turkey or salami, and passed. Basically, I wanted as minimal time and effort as possible to make something.

I finally found it in the freezer, and I knew it was there but forgot – Pizza rolls!! I think food gal snuck them in behind the vanilla frozen yogurt and underneath the beef loins so she could sneak the snack for herself. But I was on to her tricks, and found the pizza rolls she had schemes with. Now that they are cooking, I don’t even know what kind they are, but no worries, it’s a pizza roll so I am not picky.

I always count out my pizza rolls when putting them on the cookie sheet. I had 18 to start, but put two away to go with 16. I got out the aluminum foil and sprayed it with Pam cooking spray before putting them on. Food gal always puts the pizza rolls right on the cookie sheet, no spray, no foil. Why? It makes no sense, because then you have to clean the cookie sheet. If you just put it on a piece of foil you just toss the foil away. Plus, with no spray, they stick to the pan. I like my pizza rolls just so the sauce and meat is oozing out a bit, not a whole lot, but just a bit. But you have to let them sit for a few minutes otherwise you will seriously burn your tongue. It’s not quite letting it sit as long as when you get soup from a restaurant like Panera, but pretty close.

Anyway, pizza rolls are a great snack, and I am glad I found them even though food gal was trying to hide them. Now it’s time to eat them.

Eat!

Can you eat breakfast twice in one day?

2008-05-10T12:10:00.005-05:00

I got up early with Little Food Gal this morning, about 5 a.m. I had some Trail Mix crunch with almonds and raisins. Why do the boxes/advertisements for any post grape nuts/trail mix cereals act like the only people who eat these go hiking all the time? Is that their target audience? I mean, what if a guy is 317 pounds, loves to snowmobile and works part-time as a clown? Why can't he be the kind of guy who eats Trail Mix crunch? Why can't this guy be on the box or in the commercials?

Anyway, I ate the cereal, and after LFG ate and seemed to get tired, I went and laid down and went back to sleep until about 9 a.m. I got up thinking, what do I do know? Do I eat breakfast again, or do I eat lunch? Is it breakfast, or is it lunch? To make a long story short, I didn't actually eat until about 10:43, when I had an egg salad sandwich, some tortilla chips and a diet coke.

But, back to the topic of discussion. In most peoples view, 9 a.m. is still breakfast time. However, The Food Guy doesn't follow most peoples eating patterns/habits. Really, eating lunch at 9 a.m. is no different than eating lunch at noon if you have been up since 5. How so? Well, there is a four hour difference, similar to many people who eat breakfast at 8 and lunch at Noon. Therefore, if you get up at 5 and eat, then eat four hours later, it's just like the person on the 8/Noon schedule. So, what does a person do - do they eat breakfast or do they eat lunch?

And if you eat lunch at 9 a.m., then do you have dinner at about 1 or 2, or is it lunch again?

Tough dilemma to figure out. You decide.

A-Rod and a Pound of Cod!

2008-05-01T14:04:00.003-05:00

What’s up with no diet Mello Yello? I mean, they have diet Mountain dew, but why no diet mello yello?

I ate a pound of cod last night. I brushed each side with olive oil, then added a rosemary garlic seasoning, and baked it. The pound was the pre-cooked weight, by the time it was cooked and I ate it (with a baked potato), it had shrunk down into about five pieces, about two bites a piece.

If that was really a pound, it got me thinking, how many pounds of cod have you ate in one sitting? If you think about those VFW fish fry’s or any fish fry that you just demolish the fish, I bet on a good night many of us have pounded down 4-5 pounds of cod. Add in the breading and tartar sauce, and you got some serious caloric intake there. They should just bring the fish in and throw them out to everyone to eat like you are in a Seattle fish market, then you could just eat it and take chunks right out of it.

On an unrelated note, I tried trading A-rod in my fantasy baseball league yesterday, no takers yet.

On another side note: If you could insert music into a blog, I would insert a Motley Crue cowbell session right now. Speaking of Motley Crue, The last 1:41 of the song Get a Piece of Your Action – from the Crue’s first tape (yes tape, the one with the pic of the dude and his waist/belt on the cover) is one of the most underrated Crue songs of all time. Check it out.

Back to the topic, food gal asked me this morning at 4 a.m.: Have you ever ate a butter and peanut butter sandwich. It got me thinking, again, that butter is often forgotten item when it comes to making a sandwich. We all know that sometimes there is nothing better than a buttered meat sandwich. But the restaurants, they never give you the option of butter on your sandwich. How come Subway doesn’t have that condiment item, right next to the mayo, southwest chipotle, ranch, and other sauces. They should have a container of butter ready to squirt right on the sandwich at each customers request. My favorite buttered meat sandwich is bologna, and then I like to dip into chicken noodle soup. I loved that lunch in school and have it on occasion now.

Speaking of school lunches, I always ate two hot lunches a day, and one day a year I would have three – that’s when we had turkey/gravy over biscuits. I would then fall asleep in some boring history class after.

Anyway, it got me thinking, again, that one of the favorite things I do when eating was developed at school lunch. I would never drink my milk until I was done with a lunch. I wouldn’t take a few bites, drink a couple of drinks, take a few bites, and so on. I would wait until the lunch was completely done, and then I would chug the milk. Then, I’d go get my second lunch, and then I would eat it all, then chug the milk. If I got thirsty while eating, I went and got some water until I could chug the milk.

Is there anything better than chugging a nice cold glass of milk? I drink skim, but sometimes, it’s even good to throw in some 2 percent or whole milk, now we’re talking. That is pure milk pleasure.

I had a dilemma the other day. I wanted a big glass of milk, but only had s small cup left. Do you drink it all, or do you save some for later, say, if you need it for cooking, or to just have as a security blanket? I drank the cup and put the rest, about ½ a cup, back in the fridge. Maybe this stems from my childhood when Father of Food Guy would freak out if there was no milk in the house. I could drink the last glass of milk at 9:30 right before bed, and if I did, I’d have to go to the store to get another gallon of milk. If the power ever went out, if the roof caved in, if the washer overflowed, it could be dealt with, but if there was no milk, holy cripes, look out!

Speaking of no milk, since I drank that milk, I still don’t have any more in the house. I could crave some right now. I just ate a tuna sandwich and am a bit parched. I have horrible breath too. The other day though, I may have had the worst breath. It was a combination of pepperoni pizza and milk breath. MMMM..sounds appealing doesn’t it? What other combos of food/drink give you bad breath?

One thing I like to eat and drink is Coca-Cola and radishes, it gives you some of the best, most powerful and explosive burps humanly possible. Try it out sometime.

Gotta go, time to grab a snack and try to trade A-rod (he’s on the DL - douchey list - now because he’s hurt so it could be tough).

EAT!

Happy Eat Day!!

2008-04-26T11:14:00.003-05:00

What do you get when you take the r and h out of earth?

Eat

That's why, in correlation with the recent Earth Day celebration, I have announced that the first Tuesday after Earth Day will be National Eat Day!

So, Happy Eat Day to all. To celebrate Eat Day, let's do what we do best - talk about food.

Thursday I had one of those eat anything you can days, for some reason. I missed breakfast (been hitting the Coccoa Puffs, Coccoa Pebbles and Crunch Berries lately, all you health freaks, back off, you can only eat so many bananas, hard-boiled eggs, yogurt cups and toast before it gets stale).

So, I didn't get a chance to eat until 10 a.m., and had an asiago cheese bagel with sun dried tomato cream cheese and washed it down with an ice cold Diet Coke. It was good, but a little late to eat a bagel. After 10 a.m. I am looking forward to lunch. But, it worked for the time being and since I missed breakfast, anything would have sufficed.

But here's where it went for a loop. When I was back getting my 25 cent Diet Coke from the pop machine at work, I checked out the company fridge. In it I saw a bunch of left over box lunches from a company function (on a related note, there were plain cheese subs available in one box, who the heck just gets a plain cheese sub? The funny part was, I didn't really believe it was just cheese, so I opened it, opened the sub and sure enough, it was just cheese. I put it back in the box. I wonder if anyone ever ate that, or if they would like to know my hands were on it before they ate it). So, I checked the rest of the box lunches out, and noticed one chicken sandwich with chips and a cookie in it. This was on Foccacia bread, which I am not a fan of unless I want to hurt my mouth chewing and risk chipping a tooth with the hard bread. Bread should not be hard.

So, I wasn't sure if these boxed lunches were for a company function for later, so I had to be sneaky. I quickly took the food out of the box lunch - the sandwich, cookie and chips, and stuffed it into my Panera bag, so when I walked the long hallway back to my desk, or if someone came into the lunch room while I was transferring food people would just think "oh, Panera, huh?" They would have no suspicion that I was possibly eating someone else's lunch. However, when I tried the sandwich later (shortly after I ate my bagel), I realized this sandwich was leftover, possibly even a couple days. I had two bites and tossed it. All the discretionary food plot was for not.

Anyway, around 12:39 I went out for a stroll with a goal of getting food in mind. I stopped at an Au Bon Pain and was impressed with the pic of the cajun shrimp wrap outside the restaurant. I am a big fan of cajun flavors, and of shrimp. It was wrapped in a tortilla with rice and a cajun sauce, some peppers - seemed fantastic. But, again, I was disappointed, as there were only two pieces of shrimp, and hardly any seasoning/peppers as indicated on the picture. It was basically a tortilla stuffed with white rice. I immediately went to the Au Bon Pain corporate web site, got on the feedback section and told them there sandwich was terrible. Weak

About two hours later I heard someone walk by and say to another person "Did you goget some food?"

That meant one thing - head to the lunch room. Sure enough, there was leftover chinese sitting out. While it was pretty picked through, I did find one leftover egg roll and some fried rice. It was one of those deals where I wasn't hungry, but I ate it because it was there. I clearly didn't need it, and it wasn't that good, but I ate it. The worst part was, I ate the egg roll with no dipping sauce, such as sweet and sour. Dipping sauce is key to egg rolls, which can be rather plain if not dipped in sauce, especially after sitting out for a few hours. I tried dipping it in the salad dressing that was left over from the chinese spread, but that just didn't cut it. I searched my famous top left drawer and found plenty of other items and condiments, but no egg roll sauce. Very disappointing.

I got home from work and wasn't really hungry, and Food Gal and Little Food Gal and I had to be off in a hurry. We had an event until about 9 p.m. so I was good on food for the day- or so I thought.

After the event, Little Food Gal was konked out, and sleeping hard, but Food Gal and I went on a mission for.......Wendy's! We wanted to go somewhere and sit down but it was late, LFG was sleeping, and we knew after eating late we wanted to be close to home.

So we did one of the worst things one can do - we ate fast food after 9 p.m.. There should be an unwritten rule that if you ever go to a fast food restaurant after 9 p.m. and there are fewer than three cars in the parking lot, you should leave immediately. Why? Because you end up with stale and old french fries. There were two cars in the lot when we got there. If no one is ordering anything they can't run out, and they can't make fresh food. I wasn't overly concerned about the fries though, but it would have been a plus if they tasted better. I ordered a classic cheeseburger, junior cheeseburger and 5 piece chicken nugget with a diet coke.

We ate while driving, and if you've ever ate a Wendy's hamburger, it's tough to eat while driving. With the lettuce, tomato, onions, and sauce, it can get messy. So, I pulled over before driving, and took a couple of bites of the burger before driving. That way, it allowed me to see where the potential trouble spots where - like where ketchup and mustard could squeeze out onto my hand or steering wheel while driving - potential hazards indeed. So, by identifying trouble spots it helped me drive safer. And then, it also helped me get a better handle on the burger. It wasn't as big and hard to hold, it was smaller, and I could control it more while I drove. I could move it around without worrying about sauce falling out, or the tomato squishing out, etc. Food Gal then took out the dipping sauce (I like saying that - dipping sauce - say it a few times, and imagine dipping your favorite app into your favorite sauce - nice ring to it) - and placed one nugget in the sauce for me to pick at at my convenience, such as when we were at a stop light. I thought it was a nice gesture by FG. I ate, and she repeated.

We had a short ride home but I polished off the cheeseburger, junior cheeseburger (note: junior cheeseburgers from Wendy's are about the perfect driving size, you are pretty safe taking a bite into it if you forget to do your burger/driving prep out of the drive through) and nuggets.

I got home...and immediately felt like crap.

I looked back at the food choices I made that day, and knew they weren't the best, but it was just one of those days. It happens, and when it does, you have to go all out, no in-between.

And, I was thinking, it will soon be Eat Day, and in honor of Eat day, I just celebrated a bit earlier than most people.

So, this Tuesday, grab your favorite food and celebrate one of the greatest things in this world - food and eating!

Happy Eat Day!

- TFG

Welcome To The All New Food Guy

2008-04-26T11:01:00.002-05:00

Welcome to the all new Food Guy Eats blog. It's all food, all the time.

Check back soon for updated tales from a foodaholic.

"Without Food, We Fail as a Society"

- The Food Guy