Subway Lies in its TV Commercials! FALSE ADVERTISING

I can't help but get that Subway commercial stuck in my head: Five dollar, five dollar footlongs. It's catchy. I am not saying it's good, but it's catchy.

However, I've had it with Subway's misleading advertising. Next time you watch a Subway commercial, take a good close look at the Subs they show. They are piled high with meat - and they put the meat on top. COME ON! That is a blatant false advertisement! Subway never ever ever ever puts the meat on top of the vegetables when you fold the sandwich over. It's always on the bottom - and there is barely any meat to be seen.

Look here, I've ate Subway at 19 of the 50 states in the contintental U.S. and I have never ever ever had one sub that is loaded with meat on the top.

That's why it's false advertising. They show you one thing, then make another. It's the classic bait and switch. They put more meat on those subs in the commercial than they ever do on any sub - even if it's double meat.

Therefore, I am gathering a special blue ribbon, fact-finding committee (kind of like in Revenge of the Nerds when Stan Gable and Betty Childs form a committee to help the nerds in their quest for admission to the fraternity) who will help in pursuing a class-action lawsuit against Subway. The false advertising has got to stop - or else they need to start adding more meat to our subs!

They can take their five dollar, five dollar footlong and shove it....well, you can finish the rest.

EAT!

Corn Dogs: Odd or Even?

I bought some corn dogs at the store the other day. The state fair kind – they are a great easy snack/meal supplement.

I was perplexed though, the same brand had one box with 6 corn dogs, and another box with 5 corn dogs. Why would they have such similar options? Why not a 6 and an 8? Or a 4, 8 or 10? I don’t think there should be any odd number packages though. Who eats just one corn dog at a time? I suppose there could be a time when you don’t want two, but want three so if you eat two, and later down the road, in a week or two, get the corn dog crave, you eat two, then you want one more, you have that extra one?

But why a 5-pack and a 6-pack?

As I was reading the heating instructions (corn dogs must be cooked in the oven, the microwave just makes it soggy), it said “heat for 16-20” minutes.

It got me thinking – are you a 16 minute heater or a 20-minute heater? Do you check at 16 minutes or do you wait the entire 20 minutes? I usually flip at about 8 minutes, and then check at 16. It’s better to be undercooked, than overcooked. But does anyone really check at the 17th, 18th or 19th minute, for example?

Why is the package odd numbers (5), but the heating instructions even (16-20)? And, do they have a team that tests them? One group does the 15-19 minute tests, the other does the 16-20 minute test? And the winner gets a dinner at a fancy restaurant while the others are voted off?

I like my corn dogs with ketchup and mustard. I like to eat them by dipping my corn dog into ketchup and mustard. I don’t like squirting the ketchup or mustard on the corn dog, there is too much potential for disaster (such as a ketchup or mustard stain on a white shirt). It’s acceptable at the state fair, but when at home, I like to dip.

That’s all – time to eat those corn dogs. Heaven on a stick.

Wanted: Something Good to Eat!

Sometimes, it’s just hard to find what the heck you want to eat. I just ate a turkey sandwich but couldn’t decided if I wanted that or leftover tacos. The turkey sandwich wasn’t enough and I wanted more. I am just utterly confused at what I want to eat next. The main thing is, I don’t want to cook.

I just opened the cupboard and looked at some minestrone soup, cans of tuna and green beans. Not doing it. I then opened the freezer and was staring at some pot pies while craving hot dogs.

You see, when you look through the cupboards, fridge or the freezer when you are not sure what you want to eat – and you don’t really have anything appealing to eat - it’s like being in the desert when you are dehydrated. Your mind starts playing games on you. You start hallucinating. We all do it, we keep looking in the fridge, freezer or cupboards – the same one’s over and over – thinking there is suddenly going to be something new in there to eat. Then you realize half the stuff in there is stuff you don’t really want to eat anyway, that’s why it’s still in there.

Oh, there is plenty in the freezer I want to eat – steak, pizza rolls, chicken patties (by gosh, maybe I’ll have a chicken patty now that I think about it) but they just weren’t what I really really wanted. You know how it is, you open it up and spot it right away, kind like a woman seeing a great deal on a clearance item at the local clothing store. Oh yeah, all over it.

I pulled out some basmati rice and opened the package, then thought “do I really want to make rice at 12:24 on a Saturday?” So far, no.

I ate my turkey sandwich solo – meaning without a partner, like chips – and a diet coke. While looking through one cupboard I found some Triscuits. Of course as is the case anytime with Triscuits, the bag wasn’t shut properly in the box, therefore the Triscuits were stale. Two things: Is there anything worse than a stale Triscuit? And, does anyone actually ever shut the plastic in the box properly so Triscuits can last over time? Really, Triscuits should be a refrigerated food because they seem to spoil so fast. Or else they need better packaging because no one ever shuts the plastic properly anyway.

Anyway, today is one of those days when I don’t know what to eat. But don’t despair, I’ll still eat – just not sure what quite yet. It’s time to go back and stare into the cupboards, fridge and freezer some more to see what suddenly shows up.

Rock The Guac!

I’ve been on a big Guacamole kick lately. Eating it, making it and saying it, it’s been a big part of The Food Guy’s life. It’s a simple homemade treat and easy to make.

I was pleasantly surprised when I went to the grocery store of the department store chain downtown near my work and found they had Guacamole.

There’s nothing better than doing some work and munching on some chips and guac, and there’s nothing better than taking a mid-day break to stroll through a grocery store. Ahhh…therapeutic.

The one thing you always hear about Guacamole is “it’s high in fat, but it’s the good fat.”

Really? There is good fat now? Give me a break. Yes, I know some fats are essential. But saying it’s a good fat is like those people who in 114 degree heat say, “it’s a dry heat so it’s not bad.” Whatever, 114 degrees is still mighty freakin’ hot.

If I eat the two packs of guac that come in the box I bought – guac only not including the chips – that’s a total of over 700 calories and 52 grams of fat. I mean, who really eats only a couple of bites of chips and dip and quits? Most chipper and dippers I know are all in – you eat as much as you can until satisfied. But it’s the good fat right? So I am okay? Again - give me a break.

Guacamole has become one of the many foods I’d like to see featured in an all-you-can eat eating contest. It’s a great treat, but don’t get brainwashed into thinking it’s a health food. It has lots of good nutrients, but fat is fat, good or bad. And on that note, I’m off to get the second package of guac to continue my eating adventures and add to my daily fat intake.

No doubt, now is a good time to rock the guac!

Why is Tortilla soup Tortilla soup?; Cracker Showdown – The Saltine Takes on All Comers!

Eating some tortilla soup from Panera right now. It’s decent. But it got me thinking – why is it named tortilla soup? What part of a tortilla is involved in a somewhat spicy soup with chicken, black beans and corn and tomatoes and other seasoning/spices?

I guess it depends on how you view the word tortilla. To me a tortilla is the white, floury shell I use to eat tacos. Although, there are tortilla chips, which are corn-based and fried/baked to create a chip. But with this soup, what is tortilla about it? The shavings they give as an add on? It’s not enough to validate it being called tortilla soup. I mean, I put crackers on chicken noodle soup and I don’t call it cracker soup.

With chicken noodle soup it’s self-explanatory. It’s noodles, small pieces of chicken in chicken broth…hence, chicken noodle soup.

Tomato soup? Tomatoes.

Potato soup? Potatoes

Chicken Wild Rice soup? Chicken, in a thick cream base, with wild rice.

So where does Tortilla soup come in with this soup? It should be more Santa fe soup.

On another note, you ever think about why we add salty crackers to soup? Soup is like 900 times your daily intake of sodium, then we just add more sodium to our soup? But it tastes good, and it’s not the same without them. Saltines get dominated in so many ways by other crackers. No one goes to the store excited about saltines and you don’t get recipes on the back of saltines box. But with Triscuits, Wheat Thins, chicken ‘n a biscuit, even Ritz crackers or cheez-its are all are more popular. But, the question is – are saltines used more? Sure, you can make snacks out of those other crackers (for example, take some spaghetti sauce or pizza sauce, pour it on a triscuit, add some cheese and nuke it and you have a quick delicious snack)…or, how about cheese and crackers, it’s never cheese and saltines. It’s cheese and Ritz or some fancy schmancy dinner cracker. Those crackers are for people who think you can’t drink domestic beer anymore. There’s two groups – those who have a party with some ritz, triscuits, wheat thins and Coors Light, Mich Light or Bud Light, and those who have the fancy crackers, fancy cheese, wine and a combination of Heineken, Amstel Light, or some other import or microbrew (anyway that’s an entirely different topic).

Saltines are like the fish everyone catches but no one wants to eat unless they have to. It’s like say, the perch. People would much rather catch the walleye or crappie or sunfish, but in reality, the perch is good eating. People would rather buy the triscuit and wheat thin or Ritz, but the Saltine can hold it’s own. With people eating so much soup – even tortilla soup with no tortilla’s, the saltine just might be the most used – and underrated cracker out there.

EAT!

If you're up early to eat, brag. If not, don't

Why do people who get up early brag about getting up early? You don’t get a prize. When is the last time a co-worker or friend said “I got up at 8 a.m. today” like it was supposed to mean something. But sure enough, you can bet someone very soon will say “I got up at 5 a.m. this morning” and think you should be wowed by that (like the person who I work with who just said that, for example).

I get up early, but I go to bed early, so what’s the difference if you go to bed late and get up later? Or, if you go to bed early and sleep late? Get what you need to done in-between that and it doesn’t matter if you get up late, early or in-between. Now, if they got up early and said “I got up early so I could eat 6 White Castle cheeseburgers to start the day.” Then that’s a good reason to brag about getting up early. Or, “I got up early, had some leftover pizza, then went back to bed for a while.” That’s another good reason.

But why is someone special just because they get up early? Unless you have a good reason (like getting up to eat) – not just because that’s when you start your day, you aren’t any more special or important than the next person.

This was not so much food related, but hey, how about this: I got up early today and when I got home Food Gal had already made me toast and hard-boiled eggs for breakfast – and packed a lunch of pasta salad and an apple. By 9 a.m., the pasta salad was gone.

Hey, maybe this getting up early thing is something to think about – because then you can eat more earlier! But it still doesn’t make you any more important or give you a reason to think people should care.

Meat Store Methods and Beef Stick Schemes

I went to the meat store tonight. There is a new meat store in my town. I went to the grocery store to get some chicken breasts quick, then realized I should go support the local butcher. I made a quick run through the store and got slices of cheese, bananas, sandwich pickles and chocolate milk – all quick things on an end aisle.

As I was at the meat store getting chicken, a guy got 3 pounds of ground beef. As the butcher took a big heaping pile of beef (a great sight indeed) and put it on the scale, he came to 3.4 pounds. He politely asked the customer if that was okay, and he said yes.

It got me thinking, you know, I am sure people in deli’s and at meat stores do that on purpose. If you think about it, they grab a pound of deli slices here, a few pounds of beef there – all day long every day. You know they can get a pretty good idea of how much they are scooping up after doing it everyday, and I can guarantee most experienced butchers or deli workers have an idea of how much they are scooping up. It might be tougher with say, turkey vs. salami, because they are not as proportionate, turkey is more thick, while salami is lighter and fluffier and round. But I am always amazed at the deli worker – usually a middle-aged woman – who can pick up a pound of roast beef, and get it right on the money – one pound exactly. What a great skill – and efficient too, because then she can get back to making potato salad.

But really, adding excess in a secretive way is a good tactic, because if you do go over, people are still going to buy the meat. Why not get a little extra while you are at it? Butchers and deli workers are all about the profits as well.

I pulled a quick on the butcher though – and I had the last laugh today. I got some chicken breasts and some marrow bones for the dog. I was eyeing up some beef sticks on the top shelf – after I paid. I asked how much they were and started going through my wallet – even though I knew I had no cash on me. I said “sorry, I guess I’ll have to try them next time.”

Since I was a paying customer, the butcher wanted to promote the product to me, so he reached in and gave me a beef stick for free. It was quite tasty.

So, while butcher and deli workers might try and pull fast ones when weighing meat, I pulled a fast one with the old “I don’t have any cash on me,” trick…although it was true, I didn’t.

Samples are great, and any butcher worth his weight in meat will gladly give a free sample. For that, I will definitely be going back – even if they do pull meat schemes of their own.