Birthday Cake or Birthday Steak?

I was at a birthday celebration Sunday and as the candles were blown out, I thought – where did the origin of having a cake for a birthday come from? And, why is it always a birthday cake? Why can’t you have something different for a birthday celebration?

I think it’s time to mix it up.

Therefore, it’s time to replace the traditional birthday cake with a birthday steak!!!

You could put candles in the steak and blow it out. Obviously, you can’t just share one piece of steak, so more are needed. People could share the steak and comment on it "boy that's a good steak, where did you get it at?" Instead of talking about bakery's, you could talk about meat markets. 'I got it from John the butcher, he gave us a great deal."

The question is, what do you pair with the steak? It may sound good, but “steak and ice cream” may not be the best combination. Would it be another item, such as say, potato? Or, shrimp? Or, a veggie? Or maybe people want steak and ice cream, and they can use A-1 steak sauce as the topping, similar to chocolate syrup with cake and ice cream? Give that a try sometime and see how it works for yah!

And imagine if the invites go out.

What: Birthday party
For: Little Johnny
When: July 28
What to Expect: Games, prizes, swimming and steak and ice cream!

WHOA! You can bet the local moms club would be calling about that.

Traditions are good, but sometimes, they need to be refreshed. That’s why I recommend replacing the traditional birthday cake with the birthday steak!

Eat on!!!!!!!!!

Clean out the Fridge Day!

About every other Sunday I spend time cleaning out the fridge. There are many reasons for this. One is to clean out the leftovers from the last week (or week before if a Sunday is missed). Two, it’s to find any missing food items I may have forgot about. And finally, the biggest reason is to keep the fridge neat, tidy and organized. A messy fridge is a hindrance to the eating experience. It’s frustrating to look into the fridge and not know where things are at, if you are out of them, or what you need to get.

For example, One Sunday I cleaned out the fridge and noticed we had, scattered in various places throughout the fridge, three different containers of parmesan cheese. Why in the world would anyone need three containers of parmesan cheese at one time in their fridge?

Thus, a fridge audit can be a very beneficial experience.

(Note - my preferred method of music while doing this is listening to the 70’s channel on the Music Choice channel on cable. Some of the groovy tunes are a perfect fit for cleaning the fridge with the windows open and a nice breeze blowing in. Another note: while doing this I am eating a piece of leftover pizza, and drinking a diet coke. Little Food Gal is chugging some chocolate milk, and Food Gal is out and about getting more food items to put in fridge.)

What else did I find? Here are some items:

* Root beer flavored yogurt - expiration date June 18 - tossed
* Yoplait Light strawberry yogurt container - not with yogurt, but with au jus from roast beef au jus sandwiches earlier in the week - tossed
* Leftover corn in a plastic container; more leftover corn blended in another container, for little food gal - tossed
* Applesauce
* a bottle of wine
* potato salad (week old, contemplating tossing)
* In the bottom crisper: Diet coke and seven Voyageur extra pale ale beers
* In the middle crisper: tomatoes, broccoli, romaine lettuce, a tangerine, green apple (whatever happened to Green Apple Quick Step?), and celery.
* Eggs
* In the top drawer (this appears to be the junk drawer of the fridge, as many items I am not sure I want to keep appear here): Gorgonzola cheese (it‘s not my favorite cheese, but try saying it ten times fast, certainly more difficult than saying Colby ten times fast), two different bags of baby carrots that look they should be tossed; quarter stick of deer sausage, some deli salami that had “sell by 5/24/08“ on it; four pieces of bologna with white spots on one side; half an onion; two pound bag of deli roast beef, with about less than a pound left (still good); provolone cheese; block of sharp cheddar cheese; two flour tortilla’s; a plastic bag of colby/jack cheese slices with no cheese in the package; two limes; a half a block of sharp cheddar cheese; some shredded Mexican style cheese; another package of flour tortillas.
* Next shelf - this is at eye level, where most things get “shoved” with no consideration for the consequences of placing these items here: a small cup of chocolate milk; a Tupperware container with one petit cut no-name steak in it; a container of spaghettio’s; a container of leftover baked beans; a small container of store bought “big yummy caramel turtle brownies." Note: That is what the store labeled it, I would never use the word “yummy” and neither should any other male - ever; Jello, spaghetti noodles, spaghetti sauce, olives, a baked potato all by itself, tucked back in the corner.
* Top shelf: Quite the array of items here - mushroom caps, cream cheese, cottage cheese, sour cream, leftover spaghetti in a blender bowl for LFG, Hershey’s syrup, Amoxicillin for LFG; salsa, grey poupon, cherry’s, garden relish, asian inspired grilling paste, homemade tartar sauce, blueberries, two more jars of salsa

Overall, it wasn’t too bad since there was a recent fridge cleaning. I also cleared the top of the fridge and found some multi-grain wraps that I never knew we had, tossed out some bags of chips that were nearly empty and all broken, and, I also cleaned the freezer, but that’s a whole other story.

Cleaning the fridge is a good thing to do, and produces good results. And most of all you can look in the fridge, get right to it and know what you have or don’t have. When there is eating to be done you don’t want to have to waste time looking through the fridge. The bottom line: Dominate control of your fridge, don’t let the fridge control you.

Happy eating!

Chicken Sandwiches and a Cook Cam

Just got back from an early lunch. Didn’t have much – actually anything, for breakfast, so the hunger pains were striking around 10 a.m. I went to a local diner that has had mixed reviews. I wanted to give it a try for lunch, and I was craving a grilled chicken sandwich.

In my lifetime, I’ve probably ordered a chicken sandwich no more than five times when out to eat. I think it’s because I eat so much chicken at home, I want something else when I am out.

Anyway, down to business:

I ordered the grilled chicken sandwich which comes with fries and cole slaw, and washed it down with a diet coke. I was curious to see how this would turn out. When I got it, the appearance was good, and the slaw was in a separate bowl on the plate, which kept my slaw juice from touching my bread or my fries. Good job by the cook, I don’t like my food touching.

I was a little leery of the chicken sandwich being on bread, I am a bun man with chicken sandwiches. I got the sandwich and opened up one half, and there was barely any chicken on that side. I opened up the other and it was a little better but not great. What was going on was, the bread/tomatoes, and lettuce were the dominating factors of the sandwich. The main part of the sandwich – the meat – should always be what stands out. Not the bread or bun, or other toppings. So, it was disappointing that the chicken breast was so little. They actually could have put one breast on each side of the sandwich, that would have been ideal. It tasted good, just needed more meat. When I was two bites into one half of the sandwich the meat was gone, so I had a tomato, cheese, mayo and lettuce sandwich. I thought, you know, if I had some bacon, this could be a good BLT. So, do I order a side of bacon if I get the chicken sandwich again, and turn it into a chicken and BLT sandwich? Two half sandwiches for one?

It was very slow in the restaurant. After one couple left and another guy got some food to go, I was the only one in the restaurant beside the two cooks and server.

I noticed that immediately after my food was brought out both cooks made a mad dash right to the bathroom. This concerned me – what was going through the cooks mind when making my food? Was he thinking “oh man, I got to hurry up and make this sandwich because I really have to take a dump?” Or. “Oh god, I am going to piss my pants if I don’t get this done.” When I walked in he was sitting in the restaurant on his cell phone. So, in a ten minute span he went from front of the restaurant, to making a sandwich, to who knows what in the bathroom. The other cook, a female, came and went to the bathroom as well, but she seemed obsolete (not because she was female, but because I don’t think she had much to do with my sandwich).

As I was eating I felt the three employees were staring at me – they all looked bored. Then I noticed in the back, the cook had a laptop computer up. I then thought – was he watching video of himself making my food? Maybe there is a “cook cam” hooked up in the kitchen that is used as a method of training for the kitchen workers? Was he watching how he made my sandwich? Could he tell when he moved to the left or right a bit, and that urge to “squeeze back in” whatever it is he had to dispose of in the bathroom started coming on? Was it a camera from a few angles? What did he learn from this sandwich making experience? Did he drop the fries at the right time? Was the timing down? There are all sorts of options or angles that could have developed from a potential cook cam and video review.

Or, was he watching cooking video highlights on You Tube? Or maybe the Food Network, getting some tips and ideas? There was a ton of possibilities.

When it was time to go my server brought me my check and placed it on the table upside down. Why do servers give you your check upside down? Is it like it’s going to be a surprise when you turn it over? I knew my lunch was $6.99 when I ordered, and my soda was $1.85. When I turned it over, sure enough, with tax, it was $9.41. It’s probably just an old habit.

Anyway my lunch experience was overall, a C. I tried something new that I don’t eat much at a place I haven’t ate at much before. The real test will come in the future. I noticed after I ordered they have a hot roast beef and gravy sandwich on the menu. Any restaurant that wants to succeed must make this sandwich successfully. I look forward to going back to give it a try. Hopefully the meat will dominate the bread, not the bread dominating the meat.

Do you like to mix your meats?

I just got on to an elevator, and coming out was a woman whose voice sounded like Chris Farley. Whoa.

Anyway, what’s up with meat? As in, do you like mixing your meats on your pizza?

I’m a one meat at a time kind of guy. For example, many people love the meat pizza with sausage, pepperoni, Canadian bacon, hamburger, bacon, etc. Not me. I love eating meat, but, I like the meat I am eating to be the dominant ingredient.

For example, I like Pepperoni pizza and nothing else. I like sausage, mushroom and onion, or sausage, mushroom and green olive. I like plain Canadian Bacon. Notice the trend? I don’t like a combo pizza of sausage and pepperoni. I don’t like the “meat lover’s” pizza because I don't think it’s fair to make meats compete against each other. But some people do - some say the meats complement each other and that’s good for them.

On another subject, I often find that most people are willing to mix sausage with other ingredients, but maybe order Pepperoni separately. I am probably biased because I don’t do it, but you don’t seem to hear people say I want the Pepperoni and onions as much as the sausage and onion or Canadian bacon and pineapple. I’m not much of a fruit guy on my pizza, but why is pineapple the only fruit most people put on or can get on pizza, and why is pineapple only always allowed with Canadian bacon? And what’s up Chorizo, why isn’t that called Mexican bacon? How come the Canadians get to call their form of meat by it’s country name, but Mexican’s can’t? I tell you what, they need better marketing south of the border.

One other thing - I think, unless you are really hungover and just want a junk pizza (junk as in it’s got a lot of junk on it but tastes really good), there should be a three topping rule on pizzas (extra cheese doesn’t count). Any more than three ingredients, and you are starting to expand the capabilities of your ingredients beyond their limitations.

Anyway, I don’t like mixing my meats.

As for you, it’s up to you. Mix and match all you want, I’ll take the plain pepperoni, or the sausage, onion and green olive or mushroom.

Preheat? No – Pre-eat!

For years, foodies like you and I have always preheated things that called for it. Got a frozen pizza? Preheat the oven. Want to grill some meat? Preheat the grill. Want to make a cake (hey, we have to consider our female readers also), preheat the oven!

It’s time to evolve the pre-heat into the next great concept of eating. It’s called Pre-eating!

What exactly is pre-eating? Here are a few examples. Let’s say you are making tacos. These take a bit of time to get all the ingredients into the shell (look for a future discussion about how to build your taco). If you’re like me and about to eat tacos, your mouth is watering, and you are just waiting to devour the juicy/flavorful Mexican treat. This is where pre-eating comes into play. What you do is, while making your tacos – say you want to make 3-5 first then sit down and eat – you make one before you make the other 3-5. By pre-making a taco, you can concentrate on eating that taco, while making the other tacos. This satisfies that immediate hunger, and the desire to taste the tasty treats known as tacos. This also gives you time to create your taco the way you want, to taste it, and adjust as you make the main set of tacos. Did you put too much taco sauce on? Too much meat? Maybe you want more cheese? Or, did you forget the sour cream? By pre-eating, we can solve our hunger pains, and conquer our quest to make the perfect food – in this case, tacos.

Another example: Tonight I was grilling some chicken, steaming some broccoli and wanted one more side dish (I also made a chocolate/banana/peanut butter shake for Little Food Gal – her favorite). I chose instant potatoes. In reality, instant potatoes are quite possibly the easiest food to make. Boil water, remove from heat, inset package, whisk to perfection. This poses another question: Have you ever made a packaged food where the amount of cups of water indicated on the directions is really enough? For example, the instant mashy P’s called for 2 cups of water. I put in three because I knew two would leave them dry and not edible. It’s the same with packaged rice – you always have to add like twice as much water as possible. Has anyone ever made packaged food successfully without burning the bottom of the pan, or having completely dry food by following the exact amount of water suggested on the package?

When I make instant potatoes, I like to sprinkle the salt and pepper in before whisking. I then take the fork, put it in the tub of butter, and add a heaping spoonful of butter in while I whisk. It’s a magical site, watching that butter melt away in your fast-developing batch of mashed potatoes.

Back to the topic of pre-eating. Why are instant mashy P’s good for pre-eating? Because while you are flipping the chicken and steaming the broccoli, you can sample the potatoes before you eat. You pre-eat samples of the potatoes between flips of the chicken on the grill, adjusting of the broccoli in the steamer, and so forth. I did a three step process: 1. Made potatoes, whisked them, sampled to see if there was enough salt/pepper/butter. 2. Added broccoli to steamer 3. Rotated chicken on grill. Repeat.

Then, when I was ready to serve up the chicken and broccoli I did it in reverse order. Chicken on the plate, broccoli on the plate – then potatoes on the plate. But before I put the potatoes on the plate, I took another bite to satisfy my hunger from the short trip to the kitchen to the table.

So, while pre-heating has been a part of eating for ages, it’s time to learn the tricks of the trade of the next great evolution in eating: Pre-eating! Try it next time you cook – you’ll love it.

KFC Teases us But Never Pleases Us

Been on the road for a few days. As I sit at the airport right now, there is a KFC right in front of me. I just ate a salad and cheeseburger for lunch at a airport restaurant, it was quality. Although, I was a little leery at first, it came from an Italian deli style restaurant. One of my rules is don’t buy food from convenience store/gas station restaurants and don’t buy other food items from other places that don’t specialize in that type of food. For example, has anyone ever ordered buffalo wings from a pizza place that were any good, especially after delivery?

Anyway, why is it that the food looks so good on the KFC commercials, yet after eating, feels so damaging to one’s body, mind and spirit? Every time I see a KFC commercial I want to go get some crispy mouth-watering chicken, some tasty mashed potatoes loaded with gravy, and some cole slaw. It looks so good – but after eating is soooooooo bad!

So, as these people are in line ordering I am watching them and thinking “I wonder what they will feel like when they are done? Will they hurt? Will they puke? What noises will their stomach make? Do woman have different results than men? Do men and women make different stomach noises? Is it the same noises/results as say, when you eat McDonald’s or Taco Bell?”

They should do some stomach noise testing after people eat at those places.

Anyway, about to board the plane.

But before that, I just might get some KFC boneless buffalo wings…

Eating on an Expense Account

It’s been a good week of eating. It started off Sunday evening with some steak and walleye for a birthday celebration. I washed it down with an icy cold large mug of Coors Light. The negative was that we ate outside, in an area with some thick trees and weeds near a river. It was prime time mosquito haven, and we spent more time fighting mosquitoes than enjoying the food. They even brought out bug spray, but it didn’t do much. I thought about adding the bug spray to my salad or bread – kind of like spray on butter or dressing, but didn’t think it would be a good addition.

Monday, left for a work trip. Since it was expensed, I decided to indulge a little more. It started with some French toast, bacon and diet coke for breakfast at the hotel airport. After travels and about an eight hour delay I headed to the steak house behind my hotel. This steak house was well known according to the reviews, I was less than impressed. I had a 14 ounce sirloin, which was about six ounces of grizzle and fat, and some crawfish loaded mashed potatoes, which were quite tasty. The steak was a C at best, if I was paying it would have been disappointing. The highlight of the dinner, however, was eavesdropping on the suave businessman who had left his wife and was clearly with an escort. The woman was much younger and just didn’t seem like a woman who would be with this guy, unless paid for or getting paid to be with on a consistent basis. I overheard suave businessman tell said escort he needed to be on his “A” game the next day at work, and her response was “what does that mean?” Business guy then had to explain to bimbo gal the definition of what it means to be “on you’re A game.” Smart one there.

He then proceeded to ask her “what is it you see in me when you could have any guy you want?” That was after he said “yeah, I left my wife a year ago but it’s hard, it takes time.”

Anyway, the steak was average, but the in-restaurant conversation was solid. Would I go back? Only if I wasn’t paying….

On The Road: Dinner Two

Last night I had dinner with some work colleagues. We had a solid feast. I had four Fat Tire Pale Ale beers, some seared ahi tuna, and we had an appetizer of deli-style duck, ham, salami, speck and some other deli meat, which was quite tasty. We ate it with a spicy mustard sauce and bread, or without bread if wanted. We also ordered the family style asparagus and au gratin potatoes – all good stuff. It was one of those stuffy places I wouldn’t have ate if I wasn’t paying, but it was mighty good. The tuna portions were small, but with the other apps, beers and side dishes, I was a satisfied customer. Then again, I probably would go there again even if I was paying, it was that good. Sometimes it better to not eat at a few crappy places and save that for one trip to a nicer place.

Travel skips

Why is it that people think they are cooler than they are because they are at an airport or traveling? Last night I went to get the late menu from the hotel bar – I was craving some buffalo wings and it wasn’t on the room service list – and I walked into the bar area, and there was some skip, all loud and drunk, talking to some gals saying “Aruba is great, but the whole Caribbean is just a great experience, I go their all the time.” I was at the hotel bar for about two minutes – they didn’t have wings so I left – but I just got the feel there were a bunch of annoying business heads of all ages who just wanted to stand around and pretend they were important because they were on business and had an expense account. They probably wanted to party with people from the trade show to show them how cool they are or how much they can drink. Nothing wrong with having a few cold one’s or stiff drinks, but don’t try to be somebody you are not. You’re really not that important.

You might think - what does this have to do with food? Well, if I never went to get those buffalo wings, I never would have got to witness guys trying to be Bobby Big Shot.

Anyway, still at the airport, and still watching people get in line at the KFC. Oh, their poor stomachs.

Great service – but spare the explanation

I had some great service at the restaurant I just ate at. I told the server she did a great job and joked she needed an assistant. She then got into this big long rant and description of how the person who was supposed to come in didn’t come in, and that she didn’t know she wouldn’t have help but got through it even though she works better when she knows she doesn’t have help and is busy. I really wasn’t that interested in her story. I just wanted my bill and to pay so I could go sit and write about eating, not talk to the person who gave me the food I was eating. Anyway, she probably made some good tips on the day, but she didn’t need to talk about it.

Her one downfall? She called everyone honey. Why do female servers think they can get away with calling men honey? There is only one person who can call me honey (food gal). Is it me or does the server calling men honey usually look like she has a rough edge to her? Like she smokes too many cigarettes, used to drink a little too much (she still smokes at least a pack a day though), and has had bad luck with men? I don’t get it, don’t call me honey. Then again, I guess it’s better than “sir” which makes anyone feel older than they are, even if they are old.